The Thread & The Eye of the Needle: the Lamb and the High Priest.

We sing a line at church as part of the usual Sunday liturgy. It's words are: "Lamb of God You take away the sins of the world." Each time I think of the meaning of these words I am blown away.

Anything that takes away the sins of the world is some serious shit.

When I think of just my sins by themselves, I am overwhelmed. By sins I mean my misdeeds, things I have regrets for, things that have fragmented and fractured my relationships with myself, my relationships with others and my relationship with God... When I think of these by themselves it is enough to scare me into hiding under the bed for a lifetime.

By some small miracle I have managed to not yet kill or maim anyone (so far, in my lifetime, though there is time yet). That is not to say there have not been times when I would have dearly loved to seriously hurt someone - so the sin in these instances is not the the killing, the maiming (the thing that did not get done), but the hatred, anger and malice that lay beneath my desire to hurt another. Sometimes that anger hides under the clever guise of vengeful thoughts "He'll realize the error of his ways when someone hurts him the same way", "One day she'll gain weight and then she'll be sorry she said that to me".

I guess maybe on a scale of bad people in the world I might not appear to be too bad "on paper"; no criminal record and all that. But in the place where intentions and desires of my heart have been written, in that place sins, bad thoughts, regrets, bad intentions flourish like a well watered garden of weeds. So when I think of a lamb to take away my sins I think it needs to be a pretty serious lamb; a pretty darn sturdy lamb!

Add to my sins the sins of some people whom we might collectively consider sinful. Maybe like an Adolf Hitler, an African slave trader, a soldier in the early post-colonial Canadian bush lands, forcefully removing children from the bosoms of their families to plunk them into unfamiliar schools where their very identity would be ripped away. Combine these folks with serial killers and rapists, paedophiles, human traffickers of today, the man who cheats on his wife, the woman who beats her children because she cannot get a handle on her own anger about her own life, the youth who takes a weapon to school and kills a bunch of innocent kids, the one who plants a bomb to kill and terrorize people ... Well sum all these sins, and imagine them on a long scroll of paper. How many times would that scroll of paper circle the world? How small would the font have to be in order to hold all human sins, past present and future? It boggles the mind.

Then imagine in your mind the lamb who would die for a list of sins such as these, a lamb who would die to save a bunch of people like this - often people who we might imagine as unforgiveable, unworthy of being helped. The kind of people we might like to imagine thrown into some dark place where they would rot, never to be thought of again. Imagine the lamb that washes all these people clean... This is the lamb of God we speak of when we sing "lamb of God you take away the sins of the world". I do feel, when I look into the inner reaches of my own heart, like I could use a whole lamb just for myself, but this particular lamb is a one-size-fits-all kind of a lamb.

This is some serious shit. This is one helluva a lamb we're talking about here.

The practice of the lamb, the sacrificial lamb who takes away sins goes back to ancient Israelite tradition (and I suspect is common in many other ancient traditions). People, individuals and families would bring animals (unblemished animals were preferred and recommended, unless one could not get an unblemished animal) to the priests. The priests were to maintain certain standards of personal cleanliness and holiness, and they were to be morality suited to one who would have the job of offering a sacrifice.

The sacrificial animals were to be killed in a particular way, their blood dealt with in special ways, the best portions burnt at an altar to the one God, as a way of asking for forgiveness, and demonstrating the depth of remorse and repentance. But this system was not working too well... There are many rules around how the animal, the person seeking atonement, the priest, how all of these should prepare for their participation in this ritual of reconciliation with God. The ritual became its own act of sin, becoming more important to people than the function it was meant to serve. Books in the Hebrew Scriptures tell how the people of God failed to understand that the ritual was not the holy and consecrated thing, but rather the relationship that the people kept, with themselves, with each other (and especially with the oppressed, disenfranchised and weak) and the relationship they kept with God. The ritual was meant to be part of the relationship reconciliation toolkit. The ritual instead became its own god placed alongside what should have been the One God.

Prophets across the ages were tapped on their shoulders by God, and given the word of the Lord. They spoke out about the way in which the rituals (of reconciliatory sacrifice, of festivals of thanksgiving) had displaced the true meaning of the reconciliation and relationship with God. Perhaps not unlike our modern hallmark festivals: Christmas, birthdays, valentines day, thanksgiving day - do we observe these festival days truly as days of thanksgiving for Christ, life, love, and plenty respectively? Or do we observe these festival days as rituals of turkeys, hams, treats, gifts and cards? Do we celebrate these festival days as days of relationship or days of merchandising, consumption and consumerism?

I imagine God in heaven shaking His head time and time again and saying "Looks like I have to go find me yet another prophet to tell these fool people what's what down there on earth."

I maintain a hope for life on other planets, partly because I would like to imagine a less foolhardy race of beings somewhere, who have been able to get the message of God, and live it with a modicum of consistency - for we have surely failed at doing this on this planet! But our Lord tried long and hard to get us to understand His message through commandments, leaders, judges, kings, prophets.

Then he sends a lamb.
A human lamb.

And this lamb is not sacrificed in accordance with the laws of purity and temple sacrifice.

The ones who put him to death are not consecrated ones, as priests who perform sacrifices should be.

They probably have not bathed and adequately cleansed themselves since their last intercourse.

Their last intercourse might have been with a prostitute. Or a he-goat for all we know.

They are most inappropriate hands for putting our sacrificial lamb to death.

The sacrificial lamb should be unblemished,

But this lamb arrives at the cross, which ends up being the altar at which he is sacrificed, physically soiled in every imaginable way: spat upon, beaten, kicked, crowned with a mockery of thorns on his head, clothing ripped, doubled over from the weight of the timber that he would shortly be hung on, nailed to.

That weight is negligible though, compared to the weight he will bear when he is nailed in place and hoisted up, beside criminals, dying the agonizing death which birthed him into eternity, like the scapegoat in Leviticus, bearing all our sins upon his head, so that we could be set free. So that we would not have to carry the burdens of our own regrets, bad intentions, unkind thoughts, and deeds that have fractured our relationships with self, others and God.

This is some serious shit.

This lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

This lamb of God who sets us free.

Make no mistake, the ones who brought him to his death in the manner of a common criminal, they were not the priests in this scene of the Jesus story. This lamb was both the sacrifice and the high priest in making himself the sacrifice. There was in fact no high priest worthy of being the one to put him to death. So he, knowing fully what his death would mean, wanting with all his human self to avoid the pain and punishment of it all, asking his Father to take this cup from his lips, he brought himself to the sacrificial altar of the cross, knowing the death he would receive to bring us liberation from the burden of sin. This is some serious shit.

This is the message in Hebrews chapter 2, verses 17 and 18, paraphrased from the Amplified Bible and the NRSV:

It is evident that it was essential that He be made like his brethren in every respect, in order that he might become a merciful (sympathetic) and faithful High Priest in the things related to God, to make atonement and propitiation for the people's sins [like the sacrificial lamb of old].

For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried), He is able [immediately] to run to the cry of (to assist, to relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried (ie us all) [and who therefore are being exposed to suffering].God Himself, in heaven understood that He could not get through to us speaking from His Godly boots in heaven, so He came down to earth in human boots, He suffered, was tempted, tried, tested, and now, with the knowledge of the human experience, with the knowledge of the ignorant and unrealized divine that is the human condition, now he is able to attend to us in the very midst of our suffering.

God works on himself, in being made like his brothers in every way, even onto a suffering and awful death, God works on himself so that he might become a merciful, compassionate, sympathetic and faithful high priest. And then as the high priest, he lays his own mortal self on the cross: an atonement for our sins. So that not one of us has to carry the burden of our regrets and things we (may) have done wrong on our puny little human shoulders. He knows we cannot carry it, and he comes to take it on his shoulders.

I think of the impossible drawings of the artist Escher. Stairways that twist and intertwine impossibly,

birds that fly both forward and backward,

a box whose front is its back.

Jesus, as the high priest and the sacrificial lamb, is both the thread and the eye of the needle. He accomplishes for us what no high priest, no lamb on their own could do.

Thanks be to God, for this lamb of God who takes away all our sins, for this is truly some serious shit.

Confessions of a Denominationally Promiscuous Lutheran: Benton Street Baptist Church

I found out about the evening service at Benton Street Baptist Church from their user-friendly website. I know they have a sizeable gathering on Sunday mornings, and I was curious to learn about their evening worship. When I planned on going to this service, I had not known that it would be a student and youth-lead service. I was pleasantly surprised.

This downtown church has its main entrance facing Benton Street, with entrances to the parking lot, also on Benton Street and on St George Street (a side street). When I arrived, it was via the St George Street parking lot, but I wanted to see what the main street entrance experience was like, so I went to the Benton Street parking lot entrance to enter the building. I approached the glass doors just as an elderly couple approached. They were regular attendees at this evening worship service, and they moved confidently towards the doors only to find them locked! Apparently this was unusual, and the gentleman proceeded with an insistent beating of fists upon the door, whilst I went around to the pedestrian main entrance on Benton Street to see if that was open.

Upon discovering it too was locked, I returned to the parking lot entrance where I stood beside the elderly couple while the gentleman continued to try to get the attention of people inside the inner set of doors. He was, within a few minutes, successful. The doors were unlocked and we were welcomed in. Three different, unfamiliar people greeted and welcomed me in the foyer area, asking if it was my first time at their church. It was not clear to me if this area also was a baptistry (no clearly present font) but it had a lot of information in it: a TV-monitor cycled information about the church’s mission leaders and their activities nationwide as well as internationally, and a pamphlet stand was full of various info guides.

There was clear signage in this area guiding us to exits, washrooms and childcare. People were greeting each other and talking in this space; it had a warm, inviting, community feeling to it. I had a few minutes here before I was ushered into the main sanctuary for worship, and handed a bulletin of sorts (attached) at the sanctuary entrance.

The usher introduced himself by name, welcomed me asking my name, shook my hand, and invited me to sit anywhere I would like. I selected an empty pew. The worship space was set up theatre style, with central and flanking pews. I sat in a central pew a few rows from the back of the sanctuary. Within a few minutes, a member came and sat beside me, introduced herself and inquired whether it was my first time there. I did get the impression that she had intentionally set out to welcome the stranger. She looked familiar and we soon discovered that I knew her from the recently closed Rockway Mennonite Second Hand Store from downtown Kitchener. My new friend informed me that tonight’s worship service would be lead by the church’s youth. I received many a friendly nod, welcoming smile and greeting from other members of the congregation. A lady a few pews forward turned and whispered to me “The youth are leading worship tonight. You’ll enjoy it! They do this once a month.” Her enthusiasm was infectious J and I felt embraced by the welcoming joy of her spirit.

I took a few minutes to go through the bulletin. It was more of an activity guide for the church than an order of worship. I took in the space, which was simple in its design and decoration. The central symbol behind the ambo / altar area seemed to be an artistic representation of a flame, or a large sheaf of wheat, in metals (bronze, silver, brass). The space we would usually consider altar (at the front of the church) was set up more like a stage, with a full set of worship band equipment and a grand piano. I did not get the impression it was used as an altar in the way Lutherans traditionally consecrate that forward segment of worship space. There were no signs of communion elements.

Flanking the “stage” were two beautiful quilts as wall hangings. On the left side the quilt read “Serve One Another in Love”, and on the right side the quilt read “In your heart set apart Christ as Lord”. I really liked the core messages, and the lack of competing art, signs and symbols in the space. As I centred myself for worship in this space, the two quilts reminded me of the commandments Jesus identifies as the two greatest commandments: to love God with all we have and are, and to love our neighbours as ourselves.

The youth called the worship to order, and the process of formal Gathering was done with a number of songs, for which we the gathering were lead by the youth worship band. The lyrics (without music) were projected onto two screens on the front walls of the worship space, and a strong lead singer in the youth worship band helped us make our way through the tunes. There were hymnals in the pews (and Bibles), but we were not guided to the hymn numbers. The songs were not familiar to me, and from the gusto of the congregational participation, I did not think the gathering was necessarily familiar with the tunes, but they were selections that were catchy enough, and the lyrics were very meaningful, Christo-centric, thanksgiving and mission oriented. I found it easy enough to follow the tunes.

Two songs in, we were lead in a gathering prayer by one of the students. More songs followed. In essence this was the formal Gathering portion of the worship service. The informal part was the welcome and conversation extended in the foyer area and in the pew before worship was called to order. The youth pastor then did a combination PowerPoint presentation-message segment. He used PowerPoint to share a summary of the activities of children, youth and students at this church. I was surprised at the numbers of non-church youth they were reaching in the community. One weekly gathering had received 93 community youth participants that week, which I think in our downtown context is phenomenal outreach to unchurched youth.[1] The message focus was on Micah 6:8, with a plea to the older generation in the congregation to mentor and support this pastor’s generation and those younger than him, to guide this group as young Christians.

There was no formal closing, sending or end-of-worship prayer, which made for an interesting close of worship: the pastor left the lectern, people started getting up. I asked the new friend beside me if worship was over, and she said it was. A few other people stopped on their way out to thank me for coming, and invite me back again. One or two people asked me more about myself and seemed in no rush to head out into the Sunday night.

The Sunday Assembly (pp 106-7) provides a list of questions for assessing the Gathering portion of a worship service. When I consider the questions it offers, I think this worship service provided quite clear leadership to the Gathering practice, although it did not include elements that are familiar from our Lutheran tradition (Greeting, Confession or Prayer of the Day). In this Sunday assembly, one option not available to me was anonymity, for the congregation was very warm, welcoming and curious (in a friendly way) about me. When I consider these non-Lutheran worship adventures so far, I think the Roman Catholic Mass best facilitates personally anonymous worship in a communal setting.

I often have thought that an evening service close to my home would help round out Sabbath for me. I think I might return to this 6.30 pm worship for such an evening feeding!

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[1] I shared this information with Pastor Nancy Kelly at my home congregation on Monday morning after Breakfast Ministry; I found out St Mark’s is going to be trying some new initiatives to reach community youth, together with Calvary United, and I was encouraged to return to Benton Street Baptist Church to invite Pastor Jaye Rice to help and guide us as we seek to do, further north in Kitchener, what he is stewarding so effectively in the heart of our downtown! The Holy Spirit at work through these denominationally promiscuous worship assignments, a reminder to me that we are the body of Christ indeed, unbounded by denominational walls J

Through the Eye of the Needle with Metaphor.

Metaphor is like a minute, motorized boat, capable of pulling colossal understanding about infinite things through the eye of a needle; raising the bar of consciousness and awareness in a way impossible without the model, the vehicle which metaphor provides.

There are some things that are just too big for us to understand in their raw reality. We may have a core-of-our-being inkling or even confidence that such too-big things exist, but our minds approach them sidelong, like a crab, not head-on, because to approach such understandings head on would be like trying to eat a fully grown elephant in one bite. Overwhelming. Seemingly impossible.

Infinity is one such concept. The concept of infinity; an infinite thing, an infinite being, and infinite-ness - these are all concepts that extend beyond the places which our eyes can comfortably see, they stretch past the places our minds can readily conceive ... yet we have a core-of-our-being inkling and confidence that infinity exists. We are able to conceive of a thing whose boundaries our mind must recognize are beyond the reaches of our very minds. We can understand the concept of it, without being able to fully encompass with our minds the reality of it. Sometimes we might even want to talk with someone else about it ... in fact sometimes it is only in the ability to share the concepts with another that we are reassured that we have not stepped off into the realms of insanity.

So we need a language with which to express these profoundly enormous, core-of-our-being inklings and understandings with others; a way to tentatively put feelers out into the world to see whether the things we conceive of in our very core are present in the cores of others; a means of sensing whether what we sense inside exists beyond the boundaries of our very selves. We need a language. A language that can make something really big manageable for the mind, manageable for conversation, manageable for debate so our understanding can be further honed ... we need a way to speak about things bigger than our minds can fully conceive of ... we need a way to help us make the big become a little bit smaller.

This Sesame Street video has always appealed to me because of how it helps to put things in perspective:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGLKhP_32xA

Metaphor is indeed like a minute, motorized boat, capable of pulling colossal understanding about infinite things through the eye of a needle. It allows the big to become the little, and helps us to see the little as the small, so we can indeed say "that's about the size of it".

In engineering we use numerical equations to represent realities that are inexpressible in words.

Those equations are simply the engineer's metaphorical language. For everything else, for everyone else, there is metaphor :)

Confessions of a Denominationally Promiscuous Lutheran: St. Mary Our Lady of the Seven Sorrows Roman Catholic Church

I called before going to this worship, wanting to get some idea of what to expect, for I had much to do that day. When I asked how long does your worship last, the lady who answered the phone told me “As long as it takes”. I was at first annoyed, until I realized I was speaking chronos and she was speaking kairos.[1] I became thankful for the humbling of my spirit, for this was worship I was going to attend, not some sociologist’s experiment!

I got to the church, which is in downtown Kitchener, at noon. The worship was to begin at 12.10 pm. I had time in the quiet worship space to experience its magnificence. High ceilings, painted with frescos, abundant art and statues including statues of angels, an altar that resembled a multi-turreted castle, abundant touches of gold, stained glass windows and chandelier-style light fixtures created a space of grandeur. I noticed that only a few of the chandelier lights, those closest to the front of the worship space, were on, suggesting a focal area for those attending worship. I noticed the other worshippers kneeling. I positioned the kneeler and I too kneeled. It felt different to be on my knees in church; in this grand setting it felt right to be smaller and on my knees, for God felt big, grand and awesome in this space.

A worship leader, dressed in alb, came and retrieved communion-ware from a small cupboard nestled in the grand, multi-turreted altar. The priest, dressed in red for this was a Saint’s day, came forward to the communion table. The formal portion of worship began with a familiar gathering “The Lord be with you”. I felt the vestigial relationship of Lutheran praxis with Roman Catholic praxis, like a gossamer thread of connection.

It was difficult for me to hear; the large, mostly empty worship space generated an echo and the priest spoke in a manner that had the echoes of his words rolling, cascading, mingling with each other, more a flow of grand and thunderous sound than a coherent stream of decipherable words. I stopped trying to receive this worship intellectually and with a cognitive understanding of words, and I felt God in the huge space – space which often separates us one from another as believers. I felt alone, and I was able to worship in a different way in my solitude. The artwork met me in my solitude, and I experienced the presence of Jesus’ solitude, as He walked a journey only He could have known as the mortal-divine alone could know, whilst among the mere mortals. Sometimes this is our journey of faith – not something we can spell out for communal worship, but something that happens in the times of solitude.

Three readings were done; I could not find them in any common lectionaries.

Prayers were said, of which I knew very few. Even the Lord’s Prayer had some different praxis for it’s common recital in this worship – a praxis I did not know, so I prayed in my head and in my heart. The prayers were familiar to all the worshippers except me. I enjoyed their unified rumbliness, as they rolled around in the wide, tall space around me, in perfect unison, recited in almost a monotone: an expression of muscle memory of the soul of those who have known these prayers, probably as long as they have known themselves.

Partway through the service I realized that someone I knew through my work in ministry was seated a few seats back from me. She knew I was not Roman Catholic, and I thought she might come forward to join me, but she did not. There was no program to guide my understanding of what was going on. I participated in the actions of standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling not by guidance provided by the priest, but by watching the others.

Communion was served, and the priest ate and drank his portion first, before serving the congregation. He fed himself, and I thought he too is having a personal worship with God, though in a communal setting. I think, for me, communion is about us serving each other (as) the Body of Christ. When I eat or drink alone in commemoration of the body and blood of Christ, it is usually in my personal worship. This is why I thought the priest was having a personal worship with God.

There was a weekly bulletin I had picked up near the entrance, and I had glanced through it. On its cover page, in bold print, it advised “the Sacraments are available to registered, regularly attending parishioners only.” As such, I did not seek to participate in communion, and I was happy that I had been fed the day before at my home church. I was very happy for the abundant art, with which I communed, as I thought of the scriptures in the book of Ezekiel. When Ezekiel has his visions, I have trouble picturing all his descriptions in one dream setting. Sometimes God is like that – we cannot picture Him – but we try to capture Him in our words, our descriptions, our art, our structures. We do this, I believe, out of reverence and love for His glory – and we do the best we can. I saw that reverence and love in the abundant Roman Catholic art, statuary, and the elaborate carvings of the confessional chambers. I celebrated the love of Jesus in these works of art.

The peace was shared by people turning in their places and showing peace signs to the faces around them. Each person remained anchored in their place. There were about 35 people worshiping. Nobody sought to reach out physically to touch anyone else.

The priest put the host back in its little cupboard, and main worship was complete. A subset of the congregation moved to a corner together and began to recite Hail Mary and Our Father in unison. One chandelier remained on above them – lighting their appeals. I listened to them for about ten minutes, before I quietly left.

Mission & God in the midst: I definitely experienced God in the midst of the worship and the worship space. I did not leave feeling intellectually fed, to then bring God intellectually out into the world beyond the worship. However I was fed in the spirit, by the beauty and grandeur of the space and the art, and by the comfortable familiarity of the believers who worshiped without any apparent cues. So it was a spirit-fed me who left worship, to go out into the world, with a heart rejoicing in Jesus.

Welcome & hospitality: I did not experience these from the congregation or the readily visible worship materials in this worship setting. I experienced the presence of God though, and I felt welcome in His presence.

Pattern & Ordo: There was a definite pattern to the worship, known to everyone else there excepting me. Everyone knew when to sit, stand, kneel, pray and what to pray without any prompting. I reckon anyone unfamiliar with the pattern in this worship would not have been able to follow.

Closing reflection: We study worship, but it cannot be studied only academically if we are to use worship in ministry and in mission. In mission we will often encounter worship with which we are not familiar, to which we might not be welcomed or invited, yet within which God is still abundantly available to us, if we can get past our critical minds. We must learn to exist with reverence in the various worship places and practices of other believers, other constituent members of the Body of Christ. It is not always cognitive and intellectual appreciation and praise we must expect in worship. Sometimes it is an affirmation of our difference, and the knowledge in our hearts that it is not us who bind ourselves to each other, but God whose job it is to bind us together, when we open our hearts to be thusly joined. Thanks be to God for His omnipresence, omnipotence and omniscience J

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[1] chronos and kairos used here as indicated in our text, Keeping Time.

Confessions of a Denominationally Promiscuous Lutheran: Global Community Church

The congregation was a small group of people that meet in a home for their main weekly Sunday worship. Their expression of hospitality began with the invitation, extended by a fellow Seminarian; an invitation that included offer of transportation, and a description of what I could expect.

A small sign on the screen door at the home declared the identity of the church and the days and times of main worship and Bible Study. Gathering included handshakes and introductions with names to everyone, including the children. There were ten people in attendance including me: a Korean family (2 children), a Portuguese Family (one child), a young Chinese woman, a middle aged Canadian man, and myself. Worship was held in a living room with a large window of which the curtains were open to the beautiful sunny day; the trees swaying in the gentle breeze seemed to participate in praise along with us.

The order of worship was written on a children's whiteboard (songs from hymnal, songs from Binder, scripture reference). We opened with Apostle's Creed, Lord's Prayer (said in Portuguese by the Portuguese wife) and song (all English). Hymnals and song binders were provided to everyone, and everyone had the option of playing a simple instrument - cymbals, shakers. The children played as shakers little plastic bead-filled eggs to the rhythm of the piano and guitar accompaniment.

When we got to scripture, we all read, going around the living room where we sat in a circle. Each of us read a verse, around in the circle until the reading was completed, the children read too in their turns, with parents helping to sound out difficult words. We read from our personal editions of the Bible; one person read in her mother tongue, Portuguese. The reading, I discovered, was a common lectionary reading: Year A Proper 18 (23) Matthew 18:21-35. I felt oneness with the body of Christ in the knowledge that in this home, on this Sunday, we as believers joined believers internationally who were reading and reflecting on this same lesson, of the servant whose debt was forgiven.

The leader erased the ordo from the whiteboard, and drew a small diagram, which he used to facilitate the group discussion which is how the lesson was studied. Words were added to the diagram as we all gave input on how the first servant would have felt when the King forgave his debt. We discussed how the first servant did not extend the same grace to the second servant. The question of human forgiveness of each other was raised; someone carefully identified that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing, and sometimes it may not be safe to resume relationship, but the forgiveness clears our own hearts. The small group setting, and the warm welcome created a comfortable context for sharing opinions and thoughts, and personal struggles with forgiveness.

Intercessionary prayers followed, which were written on the board (by the leader's 9-year-old daughter who claimed she had, and indeed did have, better handwriting than the leader). Each person offered items for which they wanted intercessionary prayer. These included: restful sleep, missionaries overseas known to the group, Canadian political leaders and their interventions in representing the rights of Aboriginal peoples, family in other countries, birthdays that were coming up, thanksgiving. Each item was jotted on the whiteboard, and when all were listed, each person took up someone else's petition – our scribe wrote names beside each petition on the whiteboard.

We went around in the circle and each person prayed one item. The children also prayed - in English and Korean; the Korean wife prayed in Korean and the Portuguese wife prayed in Portuguese. A child prayed in Korean and English the intercessionary prayer request I had made - there was a special sacredness to her earnest, bilingual petition to God. I thought of Christ’s words "suffer the children to come onto me"[1] and I felt a weight being lifted from my heart on the words of this child who spoke for me with God.

Jesus’ words: “Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it” got a new meaning for me - seeing the children worship like this made me feel even more the humility and wonder of God who accepts me as a child, and of Jesus’ willingness to protect me with the blood He shed.

After the prayers, we moved to the dining room and kitchen area, where the finishing touches were done to a light meal, which included bread, fruit, Korean pancakes and tea. We communed around that table, sharing stories of our traditions, our experiences in ministry and as Christians, foods from our countries, and other items that had happened in the week. The worship leader offered me a lift home, and dropped two members who were not from that neighbourhood home. I walked home and the sunshine felt especially like a blessing on my face, the gentle breeze like a caress from God. I felt God’s accompaniment proceeding from worship through the rest of that day into the Sabbath night.

Welcome & hospitality – I found this worship very personal, intimate, encouraging for return with invitation to re-join anytime, and even to join for thanksgiving worship and meal. Sharing names, sitting in a circle, their praxis of scripture study, intercessionary prayer and communal meal helped to include the newcomers, giving everyone voice. Availability of hymnals, song binders and musical instruments for all allowed everyone to experience complete participation. I especially liked that the children were so included, from scripture reading, to songs, to intercessionary prayers.

Mission & God in the midst - This church invited people in, making their attendance and even their transportation to the worship easy. I was reminded of "when you do this to the least of my brothers you do this onto me" (Matthew 25:45) in the way we were invited and included. I felt the presence of a warm, loving, inviting God in the midst of the group of strangers. Mission focus was also present in scripture study: discussing the role of forgiveness, and how its manifestation by us as believers is a response to God that we take out into the world. Mission focus was present in the content of the intercessionary prayers, especially in the prayers for justice for Aboriginal people, non-Christian family overseas, and the work of missionaries. We were sent out into the world filled with a real (in our tummies and souls) sense of being fed by our communal worship and meal.

Pattern & Ordo: The worship included significant elements of traditional, larger church worship practice: the Apostle’s Creed, Gathering Song, the Lord’s Prayer, scripture reading from the 3-year Common Lectionary, intercessionary prayer, communal meal and sending. Visitors were made aware of what the ordo would be in the invitation (in my case), and also by the writing up on the whiteboard. I experienced a sense of being centred in the worship as a result of the care taken in sharing the ordo with me, a visitor. Here also I experienced hospitality, and I think this church demonstrates the graceful spirit of God who invites us, and in His Word gives an order to our lives.

Closing Reflection – I liked this worship for the way it welcomes strangers and makes the Body of Christ in the living, gathering of believers who could sing praises, study scripture and support each other, and fed us for sending us out into the world. I think this is a good model for ministry that might include small group worship with diverse people.

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[1] But Jesus called for them and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.’ (NRSV Luke 18:16-17)

Getting Naked Beneath the Armour

There is a naked time in between taking off the armour of old hates, hurts, disappointments, resentments and wounds and putting on the armour of Christ. That naked time can make one feel really vulnerable and scared. But God waits patiently until the armour of baptism in Christ truly lies against naked skin.

Galatians 5 guides us to be reminded about law versus love. Law seeks human balance and human retribution. Law is a covenant conditionally made, sealed in the Old Testament with circumcision. The new ordinance in Christ requires the whole law summed in a single commandment "love your neighbour as yourself" (v 14); it does not excuse you from loving the neighbour who might have hurt or offended you; it does not excuse you from loving the neighbour whose offense you may have imagined.

"By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another." -from Galatians 5. We do not have self-control when we are controlled by our reactions to old hurts, old protective ways of thinking and being, when we have on old armour that pre-dates our birth in Christ.

Ephesians 4 offers some further insight into what it means to be born new in Christ ... and likens this new life to a process of growing up. It is not a binary thing: yesterday i was a scumbag but today I'm born again and I am no longer a scumbag. It takes time for the old scumminess to wash off ... leaving a clean and shiney heart. It takes time and effort. Jesus sets for us an example, and when we are called to Him, part of taking up our cross and following Him is having the daily bath, washing off the old scumminess with the daily new scumminess that wants to attach itself to us every single day. Each day, like we eat food and breathe to live, we must tidy house a little in Christ to draw closer and closer. It is a process, not a moment. God waits for us patiently in each moment.

We live in a world and time of legalistic balance. Jesus teaches us how to unbalance the scales, matching hate with love instead of matching hate with an equal portion of hate. Think about what would happen in the world if a nation that felt attacked by another nation offered AID instead of WAR? Suppose the USA had said "lets love up those people who bombed our twin towers instead of following their example of hatred" (read between the lines - I don't subscribe to anything US media puts out there but is a point I'm trying to make). Suppose last year, instead of sending in troops, the Jamaican government had sent in a peace keeping force of brothers and sisters in Christ into Tivoli Gardens? Or better yet, sent them in with food and money ... with AID to dis-arm the most effective control that any don might have had over the area? For future reference, if everybody got some education and opportunity up in the place, do you think they would barricade up again and cause another state of emergency again? If we are Christians, we are called upon to model this unbalancing method. It is kind of ayurvedic in it's nature.

Reminds me of how most women who wear bras learn how to remove their bras from under a t-shirt or blouse without taking the t-shirt or blouse off. I don't think our baptism in Christ means we put on an armour that displaces all other armour. It's more like we pull on an armour over whatever else we had on. But as we get more comfortable (or uncomfortable as the case may be) within the Christian armour we realize we can take some of the other stuff off ... and kindof pull it through a sleeve like a bra being taken off after a long day!

Getting back to Ephesians 4, I like this part: "We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love." - this part says to me, don't be afraid to take the bra off, for you have a bigger armour and a bigger more able support system in Christ!

More importantly though, this piece of Ephesians reminds us of the part we have in a bigger body, and brings me back to the reflection on the roles of the various parts of the body. Who, but Christ, can join and knit together all of us so that, in unison we can promote the body's growth in love? The analogy of the community of believers to the body of Christ repeats in the New Testament (and I think has some presence in the Old Testament too) anyway it is a *critical* analogy for us to embrace ... for different parts of the body have different roles.

When we go to scrub ourselves of old scumminess that followed along with us into our lives in Christ, we might encounter places where we think we are mucky because other Christians do not act, think, believe or feel in the same way we do ... I struggle with this a lot and the biggest challenge of the struggle sometimes is knowing when to stop scrubbing. Sometimes we have gotten down to our skin below the armour in Christ. And where skin meets armour, is the person God meant me to be as an individual. Resentments, hurts, angers can be scrubbed away. But muscle, sinew, skin, and armhairs can stay :) We must not try and scrub off our skin, our selfness entirely - for God has designed each of us individually to be exactly ourselves. The Bible is not telling us to be cookie cutter, but to take our place within a body in which each part plays a role for which it is uniquely designed.

So God gives us a heart, at birth we have it. In the course of life it might get hardened. Jesus is like heart tenderizer ... he is here to help undo some of that hardness of heart, to help re-balance the body that has gone out of whack (eg grown lumps in the neck etc). With Jesus, we can have the courage to love, whereas otherwise we might have tended to want instead to be safe and secure with hardened hearts impervious to the beauty of giving and loving. It's pretty cool.

Ephesians 4 also reminds us that different parts of the body have both positive and not so positive uses. The thing is not to chop off a hand that once stole, or a mind that once ruled the entire body ... but rather to bring the parts into harmony with each other - or balance (again something which ayurvedic practices, traditional chinese medicine, traditional Aboriginal spiritual practice and many aspects of Buddhist meditation focus on - balance and wholeness).

"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labour and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear." (v 26-29). Jesus not only tenderizes the heart but gives us permission to use our hands, our mouths, our minds for honest labour, building each other up, helping, healing, caring, in short "loving our neighbours". I think I like this Ephesians 4 quite a bit.

I like the visual of the armour for two reasons: it speaks to protection and safety which we are assured of in faith ... the armour of Jesus is the refuge and fortress which Christians take in the Lord. (Psalm 91). It is also the suiting that allows us to go out into the world of human checks and balances and create a new imbalance by pouring out our own love, manifesting by our faith and action in and through our faith, the image of God within us ... we are guaranteed in Psalm 91, we are guaranteed protection:

"For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder,
the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot."

We are assured that it is safe to get naked under the armour of Christ, and to go out into a world where hate balances or overbalances love, and pour out the love of Christ made manifest in us, in our armour - to pour it out into the world.