My Pet Ego.

I have a little pet. It is not one I am proud of. It's name is Ego. I often try to kill the lil bugger, but it refuses to die. Ok, truth be told I have a schizophrenic relationship with it - sometimes I try to kill it, at other times I water it and pet it and love it and hug it and put it on a pedestal (and just about call it George!) ... 
This pet feeds on success, affirmation and tries to eat lo

ve. When it eats the love, I don't get the love that is meant to come to me ... instead Ego grows and grows and takes over the whole premises of my being and before you know it I can't fit through the door sideways (no matter how much time I'm spending with Handsome).
God, I would like to ask that you adopt this pet. Do with it whatever you like. It is like a little coal which is capable of setting all of me on a destructive fire when fanned by winds of acknowledgement. God, to you directly, via expresspost, goes ALL the glory. And if you could take Ego too, that'd be a good thing. I got enough stress in my life without taking care of such a pet.
Amen.

Sandy-fied Prayers ...

The wind whips
The branches break
The leaves swirl in disorder
Nature tells us the reality we fight daily
We are not in charge
We are not in control. 

Holy, enter into this chaos.
Shelter us in your embrace.
Wipe our tears 

Hear our frustrations
Receive our wailing onto yourself
Receive us:
Whipped, broken, in disorder
Trying to fight human realities daily
Trying to wrestle, take charge, take control
When in fact, only you can make order.

Trust and Faith.
Faith: ta pway li ta moo win ik
Faith: The thought of the truth

Hold tonight to the thought of the truth.
Thanks be to God.

Amen.

(Moose Cree & translation thanks to Norm Wesley)

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A prayer for the start of the week:

It seems like it might be a very overfull week, with many things to do, and many storms waiting to whip everything into confusion.
God you can make order out of this chaos, and you can make time when it feels like there is not enough. Please do these in our lives this week - and help us make it through this week.
Strengthen us, especially in reaching out to you - from whom all power and strength flow.
Amen.

Balance & Thanksgiving.

I walked in a beautiful fall forest today for hours, tall maples gently shed their leaves on a ground already carpeted with golds and oranges and reds. Vibrant green moss and undergrowth, parched through a dry summer, sought to get a little oxygen out into the world before winter comes ... and I am thankful for this be

autiful creation which remains in small corners and pockets here and there.

We do live in a world that has a lot of shitty things happening, going on, not going on right and so forth. This is very true. ,

We also live in a world with beautiful sunrises and sunsets every single day, with air that is still breathable, and (if you're reading this) electricity and potable water. We live in a world with mountains (and amazing hostels in the mountains) and seas and rivers and trees, and if we take time to appreciate these with friends and strangers, we have people and memories to remind us of these beautiful aspects of creation.

In Canada we enjoy considerable comfort, freedom and security - and can have medical tests done for very little personal cost due to public health care which still exceeds most in the world. (Even though sometimes the tests themselves can be a little rough on us - we have them - and they are free).

I sat on rocks in this stand of bush which people pay good money to have "imported" onto their front lawns, in order to have "authentic rocks" - and there they were in nature in the bush just hanging around for free offering a place to sit :)

Today I just want to say I am happy to be alive, to be a human being on planet earth, with good and loving friends who listen to me, text me, check up on me, hug me and feed me amazing coconut-curry-root-vegetable soup on a cold fall evening after a long walk, nacho dip and whole grain scoopy tostitos, and bring me chocolates, and duvets and jars of honey - just because they can - these are small but deliciously lovely things (and no I am not *eating* the duvet).

Today I want to say I am happy for the psychic and divine connections which make me receive an embrace from a friend in a dream, a friend I have not spoken to in ages, but a friend who gave me exactly the perspective I needed when I texted him out of the blue - a perspective from his spirit to mine, without going to seminary or having any fancy theological education - who was able to remind me about God and grace and empathy and love and what it means to be a leader, what it means to be human. A friend who could explain darkness and light to me in terms I could understand when I felt so deeply the dark.

Today I am happy for returning to my home congregation to hear an elder preside and sing with such humility and joy that my very heart was lifted, and elder whose words of institution said how Christ's body was broken for the remission of our sins, and an elder whose words "all are welcome" come from so deep a place it just made my heart smile on its insidemost parts. I am happy to be communed by those who welcomed me when I was a much higher-index-kleenex-user than I am now (and those who know me now know I still use a higher than average index of kleenex and it ain't allergies! Lemme tell ya!)

Today I am happy for the tears of joy I had when I was hugged in the communion line by someone who had not seen me at St Mark's for a few weeks ... I could feel her love and the joy that cannot wait for coffee hour to give a hug, when I arrived (really) late and missed the sharing of the peace ... a hug which reminded me so bodily that peace sharing is not something we reserve for a special time on Sunday, but an action of the heart which we act out in the body and in the spirit. It is in our eyes, in our hands, in our arms - from our hearts.

Today I have a gazillion more things to be thankful for than to be fearful or angry or sad or mad or regretful about - and for these things too numerous to count I am thankful.

Today I am also so thankful for being a servant of a Lord who understands my fearful, angry, sad, mad, regretful and often ungrateful ways - and does not keep His love or grace from me, but showers me constantly in his abundant blessings - as listed only in small part above.

Thanks be to God.